The Great Man Breakdown part 1

Men are mysterious things, in fact I am one and I don't even know what the hell is going on half the time.  For us to truly understand what a man really is we will have to delve deep into our minds and our friends (not literally, I am not asking you to enter your man friend in any way at all.  Its just sort of a figure of speech even though it isn't, note to self, these parenthesis are going on for too long.  Maybe if I just never close them people won't notice anything.  I don't feel like this is working, I'm going to close them).  Now that that cheesy joke is out of the way we can get back to business, dudes.  The first type of male "friend" that I have decided to write about is promising young mentee who actually ends up sucking. One can realize by now that not everything that I have written on my blog is true.  I do not actually wear a banana hammock to school (shocker I know), but this story is completely true.  A few years ago at my middle school we were assigned a project where we go to lower grades and read stories to one kid every week.  Now I totally forget the name of the kid who I was assigned but for arguments sake we'll just call him Jizznibblets.  So Jizznibblets and I sat down and I started to read a book.  The book was called "That's Not my Plane" and it was of course about airplanes.  After page one Jizznibblets flips a shit and starts running around the room with his arms out pretending to be an airplane.  To this point in our relationship Jizznibblets and I were starting to like each other, so I let him have his fun.  After a while he climbed onto this table in the room we were in and shouted out "I CAN FLY" since I was so educated I knew something he didn't...he can't fly.  I started to freak out because I figured that he was going to jump off the table and hurt himself.  So I jumped into action. I ran to where he was going to jump so that I could catch when he jumps.  What I didn't realize was that he was midair when I got there.  You must be thinking that I'm going to get hurt in this story aren't you?  Well you're damn wrong.  I also didn't realize that I was still holding this hard cover children's book in my left hand.  He jumps face first and the book socks him in the eye.  When it was time for Jizznibblets and I to go back to the teacher and talk about what we read.  All that poor little Jizzy could say was "I'll never fly again" Stay tuned for the brilliant saga of "The Great Man Breakdown"  if you want to learn about some sweet babes, check out http://bittershit.blogspot.com/.